Ugly mountain

UGLY MOUNTAIN
(KG. 2001. Based on the book “The Outsiders” apparently. I don't really remember the book).


Ugly mountain go away
And all the pain that comes with you
Will I ever see the valley again
and all the joy that it brings?
Whatever I do that's good in the world
I'm faced with an ugly mountain.
The glistening diamonds became black rocks
Of cold, hard, filthy coal.
I used to ride on the horses back
but now wild, he chases me away.
When will I walk with the reins in my hand
And guide him back where it's safe?
When will the sun rise in the morn
and make me glad that it's there
While now it's blowing an enormous gale
And I'm too afraid to think
If I get good marks,
I don't have a life
But if I didn't,
They should've been better.
When will he learn that I just want to please him
But he will not make up his mind?
I don't like the mountain made by his frown,
but the valley that's caused by his smile.

Oh the relief that finally appears
When I realised what I'd done
This is the one time in my life
I'm happy to have been wrong
When I thought he didn't want me,
It turns out I was needed..
When I thought he didn't like me,
the hate turned into love.
The frightening thunder of his voice,
Was in fact a warning,
A warning not to get caught up
In all the things to come.
The ugly mountain on his face
Was only caused by worry
Worry that he might lose
Another one he loved.
On the day this dawned on me
I knew I loved him too
I noticed just how much he cared
And what I put him through.
Now the coals are back to diamonds
As this gentle giant winks.
I don't ride on the horses back,
But instead walk by his side.

Modern-day psalm

I found this while cleaning out some boxes of memorabilia. I wrote it sometime between 2004 and 2008 but unfortunately I can't remember when and I never dated it.


Desperate for help, she's crying
She's longing for help from you
But at the same time, she's hiding
She doesn't know what to do.
Sometimes she feels like dying,
The pain inside's so blue
But what's so mystifying,
Is her dreams are coming true.
With everything that she needs,
Why is there still a void?
With loving arms to hold her,
Why does she still get so annoyed?
Inside her blood is boiling,
The toxic river flows,
No way to predict the damage
When the bomb of anger blows.

She wants to really belong here,
“The body of Christ” so they say,
But something feels so wrong here,
Day after day after day.
Unable to feel the love,
So alone amongst the crowd,
This bitterness she cannot shove,
The rumours and whispers so loud.
What is the reason she goes there?
Is there anything left she can give?
Is there one single person who does care,
Whether she dies or she lives?
Why does she keep returning,
If there's nothing to give nor to gain?
Because deep inside she is yearning
For a way to silence the pain.

She's heard of the man called Jesus,
The Saviour, Redeemer, and Friend,
Who heals not only diseases,
But your heart and your mind too He'll mend.
In Him your sins are forgiven,
In the light of His mercy and grace
He'll give back what the devil has stolen
And restore you to your rightful place.
So fix your eyes on the good things,
The noble, the pure, and the true.
And never stop believing,
He's holding on to you.
Still sinful and hurting, she is discouraged,
So remind her to never forget.
That God will complete the good work He has started
He's just not finished yet.

Let Me Love You Lord

A song. I have chords but I haven't checked them recently so I won't put them up. Written to my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ in 2007

Let Me Love You Lord

Oh let me love you Lord,
like you love me
won't you open up my eyes
so I can finally see
I could live life on my own
but that would only be
a shadow of the joy that comes
from knowing you as number one
let me love you like
you love me

I've come too far to turn away,
but still so far to go
if I'm gonna get much further,
I know I have to lose control
I want so much to trust you
but the voices in my mind
and the things on earth I cling to
have begun to drive me blind

Oh let me love you Lord
like you love me
won't you open up my eyes
so I can finally see
that Jesus' death and resurrection
set me free
I do not have to be afraid
to love you each and every day
Let me love you like
You love me

So I come to you this moment
needing to be pulled apart
will you put me back together
with love of Jesus in my heart?
Will you let me live for you Lord
like a candle in the dark?
May I learn to hate what you hate
and to seek what you love

Let me love you Lord
like you love me
Will you let me live a life
that lets the people see
that you can make a princess
of a mess like me
Will you drive the evil out
and fill me up with love
let me love you like
you love me